its been a long time...too long...and quite honestly, i've been wanting to blog for the past several wks but haven't been sure wat to say...how to put my thots into words...and then fearing that the thots i do tap out will come out all wrong.
its hard to believe i've been married almost a year already. its really been an amazing year--not all easy, mind you, but amazing still the same. i love my house...i love the neighborhood we live in--all older ppl that view us as their kids....and i love my husbad. how could life get any better??
here's a little sneak peak at my house....
a lot of ppl often asked me how i'm adjusting to indiana....to a new state.....to a new community....to a new family....to a new church.....pretty much jus new everythings!
im never sure wat to say....do they really want me to be honest with them?? do they wanna know the nitty gritty?? or are they asking cause, well, i mean, they dont really know me and still wanna be polite so that jus seems like the easiest conversation starter? i hate that there are adjustments. i hate that adjustments are hard. josh has put up with a very emotional wife the past year....a few wks ago, on our way from from visiting mom and dads, after a lengthy discussion on churches, the message we had heard that morning, etc., josh and i made a committment to quit being common, go with the flow kind of Christians....to start being REAL. we needed a fire in our hearts. we needed something more then jus church attendance to get us thru. we needed Jesus. since that night, i can't begin to tell you the difference in our lives. trust me, it hasn't always been easy. some days its been down right tuff. the adjustments are still all around me, but they aren't as dark and looming to me now. i have personally seen God at work in my life--i have felt him changing my heart, and giving me a new vision....giving me a new perspective. i love being in love with my Jesus.
this morning, after sunday school, i was sitting on the back row watching everyone file in, and in walked a lady from my home church. i thot i was done cryin in church cause i missed my old church. uh, not today. her family (like the big huge extended family) got up to sing, and the tears could not be stopped. i was so frustrated with myself. i was supposed to be past this........josh and i ended up leaving church early cause i couldn't even look at the back of this lady's head without tears coming to my eyes, and i didn't want everyone lookin at me me pitying eyes after church. so obviously, the adjustments aren't over....and today, they're still feeling big and dark and scary. so if you think of me, pray that i could keep my eyes on Jesus. pray that i wouldn't give in to self pity.
til next time....